I used to say that I would never go back to school, that it wasn't for me and that I hated it. I was discouraged by the grades I received, the anxiety I felt, and the conflict between career and family. Having grown up in a very patriarchal religion, it was beat into me that my duty was first and foremost to my husband and children, and every other success would be insignificant if I failed as a wife and mother. I rebelled for a time, if only in my head, but eventually got an associates degree for the only real purpose of supporting my husband through school so I could stay home with children. It was a terrible mistake. I wish I hasn't been groomed for academic failure, but my teachers telling me I wasn't good at math and science, my religious leaders telling me I should only be a mother, and one kindly gentlemen who thought god had revealed to him I should pursue classical singing, led me to make some poor life choices.
It took me several years before I found the courage to start again. And one night last summer I thought, "why not?" and submitted an application to Iowa State University. I was accepted and started a few weeks later. I was amazed by the overwhelming support from my teachers and advisors. I was impressed by the students, and the curriculum. My first university experience was tainted by religion; and I was basically reminded on a weekly basis that I was worth nothing unless I married and had children. I came away from my first semester at ISU with a 3.93 GPA, the best academic performance I had ever had in my life. Then the winter semester, my husband left for Panama, and I was alone with my two kids and 16.5 credits of classes. It was tough. I was constantly reading or writing something. I was busy. And I still managed to find time to fill out applications and write submissions for scholarships and awards. I came away with a 4.0, and enough awards to fund my next school year completely.
For everyone who didn't think I could do it, I did. And for those who pushed me and believed in me, thank you. A woman's place is not in the home. Her mind isn't any less capable than a man's. A woman's place is wherever she chooses it to be, in whatever vocation, and for whatever duration of time. I am proud of my own strength, and for the effort I put into my studies, and for my personal motivation. I am excited to be a teacher, so I can show other young women that it is possible to be whatever they want, and that they are smart too. If someone had just told me I was smart, that I was good at school, perhaps I wouldn't be in collage at 29 years old.
But nevertheless, I finished my first year back to school with a 3.97 GPA, and I intend to keep doing my best, because now I know what I am capable of.
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